Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
