When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize