Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
