When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
