I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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