But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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