I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
