whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
