dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
