sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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