i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
