the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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