All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
