your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
