she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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