Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
