i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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