dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
