Sponge bath it is.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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