you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
