Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
