I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
