I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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