Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
