There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
