The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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