Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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