I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize