Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
