a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
