So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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