the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
