their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to have your abortion
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
