Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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