So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he quoted the bible to break up with me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
