Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
