sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
