Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
