Me too!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
