please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
