I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
