How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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