Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
