So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
