Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize