My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
