sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize