I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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