im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
