im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
