It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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