i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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