imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
