so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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