You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's always time for handjobs
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I had to cum in my sink.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
