I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
