Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
