why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize