My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We are all done wearing pants today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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