it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
