my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
