I hate all girls vehemently.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
